Sanya Malhotra’s recent film, Mrs., a Hindi adaptation of the acclaimed Malayalam movie The Great Indian Kitchen, has ignited discussions on social media about the pervasive patriarchy that often renders homemakers’ efforts invisible and unappreciated. The film portrays the monotonous and unacknowledged labor that women undertake daily to keep households running smoothly. Inspired by the film’s themes, women on Reddit have come forward to share their own experiences that mirror the narratives depicted in these movies.
Reddit Users Recount ‘Mrs.’-Like Experiences
In a thread on r/AskIndianWomen, users were prompted to share personal stories reminiscent of the situations portrayed in Mrs. and The Great Indian Kitchen. The original poster (OP) highlighted the often thankless nature of a homemaker’s role, emphasizing the lack of fixed working hours and appreciation. They noted that the protagonist’s decision to leave her marriage was not solely due to the household chores but stemmed from the disrespect and mistreatment she endured. The OP recounted an incident where, on her first day after marriage, her father-in-law declared, “Women of the house are not allowed to fall sick. If they do, who will take care of us?” This statement underscored the unrealistic expectations placed on women to prioritize household duties over their well-being.
Balancing Professional and Domestic Responsibilities
One Reddit user shared her experience of marrying into a family that initially presented themselves as ‘modern’ and ‘progressive.’ However, for seven years, she found herself juggling a full-time job while managing extensive household responsibilities. Despite earning as much as her husband, she was solely responsible for cooking and cleaning for large family gatherings, often serving over 100 people. She recounted being the last to eat, frequently left with no food, and sometimes resorting to eating plain roti with water. Her father-in-law’s volatile behavior included discarding food in anger, leaving her without a meal. Financial autonomy was also stripped away, as her husband controlled her earnings under the pretense of better financial management. The relentless stress led to severe health issues and a suicide attempt, culminating in her decision to divorce and rebuild her life independently.
Cultural Norms and Gender Roles
Another contributor described attending a neighbor’s 25th wedding anniversary, where the wife remained in the kitchen throughout the event, preparing and serving food without any assistance or acknowledgment. This scenario highlighted the normalized expectation for women to shoulder domestic duties, even during occasions meant to celebrate their milestones.
Subtle Forms of Patriarchal Control
Some women recounted more subtle, yet pervasive, forms of control and discrimination. A user shared that her father-in-law insisted on freshly kneaded dough for chapatis and expected a damp hand towel after meals, refusing to use paper tissues or wash his hands himself. Her mother-in-law managed all his medications, as he remained oblivious to their details. Despite contributing financially through her small business, the mother-in-law endured continuous subservience and lack of appreciation, reflecting deep-seated patriarchal attitudes.
Financial Dependency and Lack of Autonomy
Reflecting on her mother’s experiences, a user revealed that her mother, married at 19, was expected to seek permission to visit her own family and was denied personal spending money, perpetuating financial dependency.
Conclusion
The narratives shared by these women resonate deeply with the themes explored in Mrs. and The Great Indian Kitchen. These films have become catalysts for conversations about the often unseen and unappreciated labor of women within patriarchal family structures. By bringing these issues to light, both the films and the ensuing discussions aim to challenge and ultimately transform societal norms that have long suppressed women’s voices and autonomy.
